she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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