Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
