don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
