dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
