I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
