you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
