I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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