If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
