so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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