He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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