You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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