I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize