worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
