you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Randomize
