absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
