i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
