So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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