Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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