what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
