I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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