I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
