Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
