Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Sponge bath it is.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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