Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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