That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
