Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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