what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize