I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
