new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I supernannyed him into submission
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
