I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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