Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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