I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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