I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
