Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
