thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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