you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
