Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize