I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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