Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
