First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
