she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
