we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
