I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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