You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
