That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
