Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
