Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
