How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
