Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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