no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
