Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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