Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
