He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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