SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
